110+Best Witty Instagram Captions-Bios selfies Picture & Quotes

When you are bored with your boring feed, try to add some fun element to your social media feed. When you have noticed that your followers don’t like your boring pictures as well as captions, you can try to bring witty things on your pictures as well captions. Now people do like the best pictures with captions or funny pictures with witty Instagram captions.

But unfortunately, not everyone out there can be able to be funny. Not everyone’s character matches with witty things. But you can try once to test if this works for you or not. If it’d not work for you, do whatever you did. As people more gravitate towards funny things, everyone tries to bring this to their feed. It can uplift your mood as well as your followers’ mood. So, why don’t you use them? You don’t need to do lots. You have to find pictures and attach with them witty Instagram captions.

Witty Instagram captions will help you to attract people to your Instagram feed. Your witty Instagram captions will convert their mood from sad to happy. These will bring a smile to their faces for some time. It is pleasure to see anyone’s happy face. So, make a happy Instagram feed with the help of attractive witty Instagram captions.

If you are thinking that you won’t be able to write such captions, don’t worry. If you can’t write, we can. We are here to help you out. As we have come up with so many witty Instagram captions, you can choose any of them. Check the below-mentioned captions to select.

Witty Instagram Captions

Witty Instagram Captions
Witty Instagram Captions
  • Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
  • If you can’t remember my name, just say ‘chocolate’ … I’ll turn around.
  • If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, why did it fall off in the first place?
  • It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company.
  • Keep calm & take a seflie.
  • I am not taking a selfie, I am just checking my camera quality.
  • Don’t give up on your dreams. keep sleeping.
  • I’m not lazy. I’m on energy-saving mode.
  • Permanently on the naughty list and loving every minute of it.
  • Sometimes you put everyone else first in a Christmas selfie and you forget to take care of you!
  • The happiest marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
  • Find your patience before I lose mine.
  • Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
  • Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
  • Don’t worry about people stealing an idea. If it’s original, you will have to ram it down their throats.
  • Dear Santa… I can explain.
  • Single as a dollar but not looking for change.
  • You made me laugh so hard tears ran down my legs.
  • You can’t handle the truth!
  • I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.
  • Never on schedule but always on time.
  • I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me
  • It is not what you gather but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.

Witty Captions For Instagram

  • Every man is the architect of his own fortune.
  • I can’t clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find!
  • I was born passport-ready.
  • Either you run the day or the day runs you.
  • I am not fat, I am just. Easier to see.
  • Please God, if you can’t make me thin, make my friends fat.
  • I don’t care what people think of me. Mosquitos find me attractive!
  • I don’t always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!
  • I put the “Pro” in procrastination.
  • I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!
  • Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute. Yet… I wouldn’t call them lies!
  • Sending my selfie to NASA, because I’m a star.
  • We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?
  • It is surprising what a man can do when he has to, and how little most men will do when they don’t have to.
  • Only dead fish go with the flow.
  • Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no fibs.
  • Yes, of course, I am athletic… I surf the Internet every day.

Witty Instagram Bios

  • Fairy Lights on Winter Nights.
  • When you are at the end of your rope…tie a knot and swing.
  • Ice cream is cheaper than therapy.
  • Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.
  • According to me’ is the only ‘according to’ that matters.
  • I feel the start of something new…
  • Arguing with a fool proves there are two.
  • The worst distance between two people is misunderstanding.
  • Shhhh… I’m hiding from stupid people.
  • I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
  • Be a Warrior not a Worrier.
  • I am not fat, I am just easier to see.
  • When Jessica Biel becomes pregnant, I hope she names her child “Mo”.
  • Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.
  • There’s no crying in baseball!
  • Did it for the memories – totally worth it!
  • Sure, I do marathons. On Netflix.
  • God made men because every good thing needs a blueprint.
  • A cop pulled me over and told me “Papers”, so I said “Scissors, I win!” and drove off.

Witty Captions For Selfies

Witty Captions
Witty Captions
  • My hairstyle is called “I Tried”.
  • Save a tree, eat a beaver…
  • Magnify you Skills…or else modify your Goals.
  • How do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop
  • I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
  • There are easier things in life than trying to find a nice guy…like nailing jelly to a tree for example.
  • Even I don’t believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in five minutes.
  • Green Eggnog and ham.
  • Round up the usual suspects.
  • Wine + dinner = winner
  • Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.
  • I’m in desperate need of a 6-month vacation…twice a year.
  • Enjoy at least one sunset per day!
  • I’m not crazy I prefer the term mentally hilarious.
  • A selfie a day keeps the doctor away.
  • I don’t have a bad handwriting. I have my own font.
  • I miss you like an idiot misses the point.

Witty Profile Picture Captions

  • There’ll be parties for hosting, cocktails for toasting, and caroling sung way out of key.
  • When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.
  • I followed a diet but it didn’t follow me back, so I unfollowed it.
  • Everyone has a chapter they don’t read out loud.
  • Courtship is to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.
  • Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
  • Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
  • I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.
  • Going to bed early. Not going to a party. Not leaving my house. My childhood punishments have become my adult goals.
  • The greatest risk is to risk nothing at all.
  • Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.
  • A naughty thought is a terrible thing to waste.
  • My bed is a magical place I suddenly remember everything I had to do.
  • You can’t be late until you show up.
  • Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re probably drunk.
  • Dream big, sparkle more, shine bright.
  • What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.

Funny Witty Captions

  • With great power comes great electricity bills!
  • Dreams don’t work unless you do.
  • The eyes are useless when the mind is blind.
  • Nothing is lost until your mother can’t find it.
  • I like hashtags because they look like waffles.
  • Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings.
  • If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
  • The brave men did not kill dragons. The brave men rode them.
  • Why the jingle jang not?
  • You had me at ‘hello’.
  • If you want to make enemies, try to change something.
  • One thing all men need to know: It’s cheaper to keep her.
  • Be happy, it drives people crazy.
  • You are one in a melon.
  • My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
  • Life was much easier when apple and blackberry were just fruits.

Witty Photo Captions

Witty Captions For Instagram
Witty Captions For Instagram
  • Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.
  • Looks are only skin deep but ugly goes right to the bone.
  • When you fall I will be ready to catch you- with love, floor.
  • What you seek is seeking you.
  • It’s too a.m. for me.
  • A friend in need a friend to be avoided.
  • And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.
  • Can I take your picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
  • Boys/ Girls are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken.
  • Proof that I do selfies better than you.
  • I don’t want to be in a relationship, I would rather be in a Range Rover.
  • Too glam to give a damn.
  • I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.
  • Cry a river. Build a bridge . Get over it.
  • Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.
  • The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar… it was tense.
  • ETC. End of Thinking Capacity.
  • Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Witty Captions For Friends

  • They say don’t try this at home… so I went to my friend’s home!
  • Leave a little sparkle wherever you go.
  • I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode.
  • I am not feeling lazy actually; I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing.
  • People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.
  • Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.
  • Think I’m sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care.
  • The root of suffering is attachment.
  • Action will destroy your procrastination.
  • If you can’t handle the stress, you won’t manage success.
  • There’s no “we” in fries.
  • Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.
  • Friday, my second favorite F word.
  • Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
  • For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
  • You couldn’t handle me even if I came with instructions.

Short Witty Captions

  • If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.
  • You made me laugh so hard. Tears ran down my legs.
  • Normal is boring
  • Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.
  • I would kill for a Nobel Peace Price!
  • The elf did it.
  • Brains are an awesome tool. I wish everybody had one.
  • An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory.
  • All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions.
  • I am not lazy, I am just on save energy mode.
  • I’m not high maintenance, you’re just low effort.

Witty Instagram Captions For Selfies

  • Houston, we have a problem.
  • Don’t stop until you are proud.
  • I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!
  • The trouble is you think you have time.
  • The only difference between men and boys is the size of their shoes and the price of their toys.
  • It is the Season to Sparkle.
  • I don’t always study, but when I do, I don’t.
  • Too bad we can’t gift wrap common sense.
  • They say don’t try this at home…so I went to my friend’s home!
  • Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

Witty Quotes For Instagram

  • It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.
  • Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.
  • Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
  • I love listening to lie when I know the Truth.
  • Intelligence is more important than strength, that is why earth is ruled by men and not by animals.
  • Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.
  • Sleigh my name, sleigh my name.
  • You just can’t spell awesome without me.

Conclusion

The above-mentioned captions will help you to make a happy place for your followers. These will help you to create a fun feed. Not only you do have these but you can also have such many, like sleep captions, cloud captions, etc.

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