98+Best Sarcastic Instagram Captions-Funny Bio Pics Posts

By | March 21, 2022

Sarcasm is everywhere to find in this day. Few people think being sarcastic is cool. But all the time being the same I think is not the identity of coolest. Sometimes when we are in fun, we are enjoying with friends being sarcastic may show you cool or amazing. As sometimes being sarcastic is nothing more than fun, bring sarcastic to your Instagram feed is also fun. To show your sarcastic side to the world, you can post normal photos by adding sarcastic Instagram captions.

Funny and sarcastic the two different things that few people know. Being funny may not hurt people. But being sarcastic may hurt someone. So, you may not try to be sarcastic all the time. Sarcasm may down someone’s feeling. Sarcasm may hurt someone’s feelings. So, before doing anything by hurting someone, think twice and then do it. On social media as well, before post any sarcastic pictures and sarcastic Instagram captions you may think twice. If you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings then try to put funny as well as sarcastic captions on your feed

Being funny is another thing and being sarcastic is just totally another thing. There is a very thin line. You may not cross the line by hurting someone. But if you want to bring something new to your feed then put sarcastic captions for Instagram.

If you are finding captivating sarcastic Instagram captions then you have come up with these types of captions. To bring the sarcasm on your feed, try these captions. Scroll down to check the below-mentioned sarcastic Instagram captions.

Sarcastic Instagram Captions

Sarcastic Instagram Captions

The trash will get picked up tomorrow, be ready.

I became insane with long periods intervals of horrible sanity.

Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.

Shut your trap when you’re speaking to me.

I’ll get over it. I just need to be dramatic first.

I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?

Here you go! It’s a bowl of sarcasm.


It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.

If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.

Sarcasm–the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.

The trash gets picked up tomorrow be ready.

I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.

Zombies eat brains. Don’t worry, You’re safe.

Whoever says nothing surprises them should try working at our office.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.

Yet despite the look on my face… you are still talking.

You are not useless because you can still be used as a bad example.

When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.

I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Talking to myself. Because who else will?

Sarcastic Captions For Instagram

If I haven’t pissed you off yet, just wait for your turn patiently. I will get to you shortly.

Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.

He was happily married – but his wife wasn’t.

Go to hell? But it’s too early for me to go home.

Early to bed and early to rise just means you weren’t invited to the party.

Love is the answer, but while you’re waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.

Please cancel my subscription to your issues.

Feed Your Own EGO I’M BUSY

No matter how bad it gets, I’m always rich at the dollar store.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

My Alone Time is Sometimes For Your Safety.

Hideousness can be fixed. Idiocy, on the other hand, is forever.

What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically speaking, more powerful.

I am Not Lazy I am on Energy Saving Mode

Best Sarcastic Captions For Instagram

Sarcastic Captions

Just as stupidity is infinite, sarcasm also is.

Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.

Sorry for being late. I got caught up enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Life is like a roller coaster, and I’m about to throw up.

Perhaps, I’m wrong? But, I doubt it.

I am not young enough to know everything.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

I am not feeling lazy actually; I am just incredibly motivated to do nothing.

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

Grammar is simply the difference between knowing your sh*t and knowing you’re sh*t.

Why would someone who has an average life expectancy of 75 years, get married when he is 29?

Money talks mine always says ”Goodbye”.

My attitude in exams. They give me questions I don’t know. I give them answers they don’t know.


Sorry if I pissed you off. Rest assured that it will happen again.

Remember when I asked for your sentiments? Me neither.

Funny Sarcastic Instagram Captions

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.

I need to special distance from the kitchen. I tested positive for the fat ass.

Lead me not into temptation. I know the way.

If there’s trouble wherever you go, then guess what?

Ready in five minutes? Me? I doubt it.

If I light you a candle and offer you flowers, will you go away?

Not a single one of my multiple personalities like you.

Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

I’m actually not funny, I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.

I’m a man of leisure. That’s because I have an English degree and can’t get a job.

Somewhere in the world, my soulmate is pushing a push door. I just know it!

Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.

Sarcastic Selfie Captions

Sarcastic Captions For Instagram

If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.

The whiskey tastes like I’m about to tell you how I really feel.

I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.

Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.

In many instances, I wish I have enough middle fingers to go around with.

My circle of connections is really small! One time, I almost cut myself off of it.

Sometimes, I question my sanity. Occasionally, it replies.

Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.

Everyone brings joy in a room. Some, by entering. And some, by leaving.

Please GOD if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

You’d be in good shape, if you ran as much as your mouth.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.

If stupidity was a profession then you’d be a billionaire.

I’m not a hot mess I’m a spicy disaster

Sarcastic Instagram Bio

I’m smiling…that alone should scare you.

I either have my hair and makeup done or look homeless. There is no in between.

I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

Indeed, sarcasm falls out of my mouth just as stupid falls from other people.


Do you think God gets stoned? I think so… look at the platypus.

The duty of a patriot is to protect his country from its government.

I am not lazy, I am just on my energy saving mode.

Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it anyway.

Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal.

Can I take your picture? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.

My Luck is Like a Bald Guy Who Just Won a Comb.

There’s someone for everyone and that person for you is a psychiatrist.

Fortunately, mirrors can’t talk. You should be thankful that they can’t laugh either.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Good judgment comes from experience. And experience? Well, that comes from poor judgment.

I really want to be a nice person, but this mouth of mine never cooperates.

Sarcastic Captions For Pics

I don’t want to be in a relationship, I would rather be in a Range Rover.

I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.

An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.

Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

I don’t always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!

I’ll always cherish the original misconception I had of you.

Oh… I didn’t tell you. Then it must be none of your business.

Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

I may look calm, but inside my mind, I’ve killed you 20 times, in 5 minutes, in 20 different ways.

Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.


Let’s keep the bullsh*t to a minimum today, okay?

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

Sure I’ll help you out. The same way you came in.

If anything can go wrong, it will.

Life’s good, you should get one.

Sarcastic Quotes For Instagram

Facing a problem is a whole lot harder when the problem is your face.

Sometimes I question my sanity. Occasionally it replies.


When you fall I will be ready to catch you- with love, floor.

Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.

All the good ones are taken.

Oh, and I suppose the apples ate the cheese.

My favorite kind of people are those who reply to my sarcasm with their sarcasm.

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

I’m not late. I’m just early for tomorrow.

Sarcasm is my mother tongue.

I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.


Just because my intelligence is beyond your understanding doesn’t mean I’m sarcastic.

Here, hold my dignity. I’ve got some sketchy things to do.

Hell hath no fury like your kid catching you throwing ANYTHING away EVER. I snuggle out broken crayons like a Mexican druglord.

My Level Of Sarcasm has Gotten to The Point to WhereI Don’t Even know if I’m kidding or not.

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection.

Sarcastic Photo Captions

War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.

Not sarcastic. Just brutally honest.


You can be whatever you want; however, in your case you should probably aim low.

Pretending to like people is taking a toll on my energy reserves.

Sarcasm: curing the world one insult at a time.

I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane.

Not a bad person. But dangerously atrocious, nonetheless.

Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.

This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.

You sound better with your mouth closed.

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

Are you sure this is your territory?

Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.”

You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.

My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.

Sarcastic Captions For Instagram Posts

It’s ok if you disagree with me. I can’t force you to be right.

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.

Babies are so lucky. They can sleep all day and everyone still would be proud of them.

Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.

Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.

Slapping idiots would be animal abuse, so I try to restrain myself.

Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.

Boys will be boys as long as there are no girls in the picture.

You know there’s just one more thing to need to do after you crack a joke… Tickle the other person!


Welcome these captions to your Instagram feed by copying and pasting. Use them to bring new things to your feed. Also, you may check captions like sunny day captionsballoon captions for Instagram, and a lot more.

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